shark thrasher ( its not fair )

shark thrasher ( its not fair )
+++

th unicyclists
are coming out to play

had a long chat with a guy last night
he can ride a couple of k's

and he can ride blind


and working on


smoothness


grace




take th hard way
round

all th obstacles

in your path

+++


i bought
as ya mighta read


a unicycle for my nephew for
xmas

be fucked
i am an out of it ****


my nickaname in th street

ridin th unicycle thru th nightclubbers
with a shark fin
on top of my hat

is


th shark


or

shark

i dunno man



i call me something else entirely

anyway



i get th fuckin thing home

and give it to him early

cause we hookup at pooh's place
and her son's just bought one
and gunna hand mine back


and
my nephew points out th sticker

on th fork leg of th new beast


Shark Thrasher


he's gunna thrash th pants off me
but you'll have to work hard

i'm not that easy to catch


th shark's graceful
but he's got a savage bite

+++

had blood red paint

on th left arm

in th street last night


while peelin thru th crowd

surfin


when that other part of me
wasnt out singin to pretty chicks

my female side

"me baby"

**** off
it's unicycle time


i'm havin some drugs

+++

th photo journalist
said he'd shot four rolls of film

wanderin round th valley

wasnt askina bout th unicycle

so i let it lay in th garden bed


did grab my shark fin hat though
with th wizard skin

and prop it onth bench

and then

forget about it

just sing


just forget there's a professional photographer takin shots
and go back to singin th blues

+++


**** off jennifer


th 27 inch


developed a problem
didnt get twenty feet from th car

friday night


wheel crashin into th frame

jeez she's a rough old bitch
my surf wheel


i pulled out my
relatively new

24 inch wheel

and rode it both nights
in th fortitude valley
till dawn

singin and drumming notwithstanding

**** off music

i'll put some on

stop askin for attention

+++


all audio random


we'll let windows decide


bill knows what's good for me


do re mi
"warnings moving clockwise"

+++


ive been workin on my own

my hands are too slow song


no way girl

i am usin th left hand

i know th right one's quicker

i dont care
it's tired

been playin a drum half th night

otice i only use one hand ?n
+++

BAD HAND

+++


covered in blood
in th full moon

after midnight


and got these two dumb fuckin coppers

i was ridin a unicycle for crisake

funny thnig is

it took em all night to notice

it was daylight


quick aren;t they ?


really really vivid paint

wet looking

fresh bloood

+++


some didnt even notice

whole left arm red

not calling attention to it

really really stoned ppl

blow out so bad



yeah i know
i said


i'll have to hold a few hands
later in th night


th really fucking stoned


price i pay

+++

no man it is paint
you're just trippin

mellow out

+++

shark thrasher hey ?


ive no doubt
you guys will fair better in th bowl

too big an impact for my nuts

tender little buggers


i'll bet you though
what will plague you is



smoothness


to glide
thru th crowd

silent and deadly


you have to be





dead smooth





**** i scared a few last night


mika and johnno

were rounding th corner

and i happened along


**** man

they nearly dropped everything



still sang with em though

after they set up


she's a pacey ltitle fucker that 24

runs outta steam but


off th mark

it's a



jack rabbit



+++



stuffin th 24 over th
centre dividers

on th road

is much easier than than th skinny 27


at least th wheel dont flex as much

gets a bit frightening at times


lookit that bend


woofs into th incline just nice

needs a knobbie tyre but


that's her next incarnation


time to start modifyin


i got no grip left

some of th slides
are

fuckin out there

+++


smooth as


+++

when i rode motorbikes

th guys used to throw me out front

cause i was smooth
and drove a truck for a living


so i think


as much of th road ahead of me
as i can see


and rode so as not to break eggs

at two hundred kilometres an hour

with th whole pack


on my line



short lived in a bike pack


ya wouldnt know less youd been there
but every now and then

a bike guy
would sit next to me at th bar

and wax about my smoothness


+++

i make little pottery ocarinas

th whistle made out of wet clay

very fine
very delicate

not too many ppl make them


i give them away
to special ppl

fine motor skills


a unicycle can improve them


it'll teach you grace man

+++


i like riding
through th pack

my leather jacket hung up

hooked on
unicycle surfing in crowds
of mindless missiles


it's umm


like a video game
with
drunken stoned sprites


i been doin this five years

i havent put a sprite in hospital



and yes
i do ride very fast pretty lady


sorry i scared you

<<< smile >>>

+++



they call me shark


some

do



get so many ppl
love my shark fin bicycle hat
with wizard skin

just
above evryone's heads

can see it go thru th crowd
from across th road

i used to disappear

inside th crowd


on one uniycle

i put a whip tail

with a flag

and carted it
above th crowd


this is cooler



fox tail would be good


"twin fox tails"


+++


try ridin backwards up a hill

chill up my spine

first time



then ride backwards down it

a small hill



car park



+++



th beach is good
to ride with yor eyes shut
at low tide


easy ground
hard and

and a nice transition
to tell ya where ya are

where th waves are breaking

ridin th edge

blind

ah ok

im in water


head right

no water



play




till some fuckin guy runs out
to knock down th clown

on th unicycle



where' my baseball bat ?

hey man

**** up in th props department

and give me a hard one


+++


you goin down motherfucker

+++


i've got th edge now
but i cant keep it forever

and at some stage

i'm gunna get whooped
by younger and stronger

or older and more wily

someone's gunna bop in
while im in
the bus stops
slalom unicycle run


wantin to race


i bumped a couple posts
last night

on purpose

it was th full moon ya know


and i train hard

ride thru bushes

so i know exactly where

i am


spatially


+++

cept when i stop

fuckin near took this chick out
with th hat


then turned to apoligize

and took this guy out too


it's th clown in me


+++

coupel fo tiems last night


for th full moon


NO BRAKES

at th top of my lungs


im a street entertainer

background singer
sorry no

we got teeth now


harmonizer

my lungs are


BIG


shitscared sprites

desertin th track

cruise thru



th shark



cant be fucked



here i am

get out of th fucking road


it's an attitude



..
..
..

th land shark...

p.s.


oh yeah

a few in th crowd

startled

and let's face it

very fucking stoned

and spotted th bloody hand


BAD HAND


and lost it


badly

and th unicycle
still sliding

smoothly


but definitely

out of control

to a stop

at th post


and just lean over

and lean on th post


look mum

no hands




ooo that one's not lookin so good


+++

scared a few shitless

in th full moon


and that was before i started singin about doin

really really good drugs on th corner




i had a pretty good night

+++


played drums a couple of times

and had a few nice lookin lady's

twistin and gyratin it in th street

+++



i had a nice ride in th city
early on last night

you arent really gunna mount that thing with a hot cofee are you ?
oh you have

+++

**** i'm blase

+++


th manager at jimmys
givin me shit

now dont you drop these two hot chocolates


i went off
but nice

i drop one


one time

i never live it down


get up
and cruise off

smooth as



and tryin to avoid th pigs

while deliverin jarrod's hot chocolate
and mine

cant ride in th mall

council ordinance

you ride a fuckin unicycle stoned and pissed
and carry three drinks


i dunno man
they expect miracles

+++


love ya folks...